tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post2494034095275405255..comments2024-01-28T00:21:38.809-08:00Comments on We Are Like Your Child: Talking is HardAlyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06413844178426365789noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-4028255927460366592014-08-13T04:09:49.194-07:002014-08-13T04:09:49.194-07:00"But just to be able to not speak—It’s restfu..."But just to be able to not speak—It’s restful. It’s comfortable. It’s a relief. It’s something I need, and there’s nothing wrong with that." although I'm neurotypical, i can relate so much to this. No one could ever process the possibility of speaking being tiring, so thank you for showing me I'm not alone. i found speechless days to be such a great recharge, and felt the energy flowing back again in me, like magic!nadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01329691152809332204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-54970415486796333062014-03-28T09:16:52.233-07:002014-03-28T09:16:52.233-07:00Such an interesting and honest article. Being in o...Such an interesting and honest article. Being in our culture ( America ) has a great deal to do with the verbal expectations. We compete with so much noise, talk over each other are always expected to state our opinion. On our travel in Africa it is the opposite. Each speaks softly and one at a time. There is no use for idle and constant chatter. Actions have been understood between people of many languages that cannot communicate verbally. It's very refreshing bamamamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04440171115198065388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-47267272409145968412014-02-19T19:59:38.479-08:002014-02-19T19:59:38.479-08:00Great post, thank you! Im an Autism mom, and my d...Great post, thank you! Im an Autism mom, and my daughter likes to talk, but she enjoys lots of scripts finds it easier to communicate in one or two words than longer sentences, etc (at least right now at not-quite-4). She also find answering questions so difficult, bless her heart. I really try not to push. Its such a fine line between trying to help equip your child so they can communicate their needs to others, and to not push them into having to talk more than they want to. Appreciate the insight, thanks!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10412744189611967954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-87032666472043205032013-12-28T12:45:07.893-08:002013-12-28T12:45:07.893-08:00Since I was always ABLE to speak, my parents just ...Since I was always ABLE to speak, my parents just told me that everything I said was an excuse, that I was worthless (and lazy and a constant humiliation.) At that time in my life, I was really only able to parrot what I heard; I couldn't properly process many things that I heard... everything seemed like "Rutabaga"... few words had any real meaning to me. I was constantly disruptive in class... I could not function in a classic school at any capacity (excepts tests... I could ace tests easily). I have severe dyscalculia and only received about a half hour of help (on homework) from my parents in my entire life. When school councilors stepped in, my parents explained I was just lying for attention (I WAS trying to find SOMEONE who would understand that SOMETHING was wrong.) They grounded me for weeks and even months if I dared keep telling people my "bullshit, made-up stories." They just told me that I was one of those bad eggs and was completely unappreciative of ALL they did for me (I was never once allowed to see a psychologist or anyone who might diagnose ANY kind of condition... I just had to accept that I was a bad person who did bad things because... that's what bad people like me do.) I was told daily that "I was so smart, I COULD do anything... but I won't" or how lucky I was that my father was such a wonderful man, as he didn't HAVE to take care of me... I should have ended up in a state home (I was 7 when that was first thrown in my face; around the same time my step-mother sat me down to explain all the reasons why my biological mother didn't love me or care if I lived or died.) I was told several times a day how much of a burden I was; how my existence meant they had to work SO MUCH HARDER (I guess they wouldn't have had ANY bills had I not been there.) I used to get lost when they made me start walking to and from school; more than once (when I was 8) I wandered until I could find someplace that looked familiar or until someone saw a crying lost child and helped me find my way home. Sometimes I didn't get home until 9 or 10 at night. Each time, I was grounded and told to stop lying... they never once called the police... or anyone. They made sure I paid dearly for being so willfully malicious (as they put it nearly every time.) My step-mother had twins (1 neural typical and one with CP and Autism.) They made big shows of how they were worth the effort, but I simple never would be. I was compared to a 45 year old living with and off his parents by the time I was 12. When I left at age 17, they took my pictures down and pretended that they only had 2 children, instead of 3. I have never really been allowed to come near their home again as I have been classified as a psycho and a danger (they told ALL KINDS of stories to the family so that no one would offer ANY help.) There's more, but you get the point. However, my point is this... Just because we can speak doesn't mean we are properly processing what was being said (I didn't realize I had ever been mistreated until I was almost 30... I walked around repeating how horrific a person I was for well over a decade... it was all I knew.) I prefer to have no more that an hour of talk time a day, as I still feel like speaking is pointless. I can better express myself by typing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16068850228119835267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-28919207582290664822013-12-26T17:53:46.896-08:002013-12-26T17:53:46.896-08:00This is soooooooo close to my own experience with ...This is soooooooo close to my own experience with verbal speech! Thanks for writing this post. Vlad Drăculeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03242340650477740456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-36779667664749847982013-12-20T07:30:11.305-08:002013-12-20T07:30:11.305-08:00Yay for the verbal days off! I get fewer chances n...Yay for the verbal days off! I get fewer chances now than I used to when I could do it maybe three days at a time and I think this is really taking a toll. Now I have many more more problems in the middle of when it is inconvenient. So I recommend doing this strategy as a preventive measure instead of just recuperative for anyone who can relate. Thank you *so* much for writing this excellent piece, Chavisory!!Elizabeth J. (Ibby) Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08330631899371657005noreply@blogger.com