tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post4257714592129751767..comments2024-01-28T00:21:38.809-08:00Comments on We Are Like Your Child: Please Don't Rush Me.Alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06413844178426365789noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-14634970249499332562014-02-11T18:40:42.783-08:002014-02-11T18:40:42.783-08:00You could use a schedule/checklist, visual or writ...You could use a schedule/checklist, visual or written. Both agree to it the night before, and agree that it won't be deviated from. Even if it means sometimes it's less advantageous to you, the consistency and predictability would probably help tons.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-73263437653979234172013-12-26T02:59:11.124-08:002013-12-26T02:59:11.124-08:00I feel like I should consider time agnosia is my &...I feel like I should consider time agnosia is my "primary disability," because...it is. The combination of language processing/translating issues and time issues can be just...incredibly terrible. Not just in face-to-face or short-term situations either; I have the worst problem with writing papers...If I say papers take me longer to write because I have to spend tons of time organizing my thoughts (non-linear-autisticADHDbrain), I basically get people assuming: 1. I can't write (not true); OR 2. That I'm one of those mystical lazy, cheating, disabled students; OR 3. That I'm a bright but disorganized puppy that they can remediate back to health by completely altering my writing process to be more "efficient." All of those things lead to complete shutdown (either immediately, or progressively). <br />The worst might be when, after I reveal that I need more time, the other person asks me how much time I'll need. I get that normal people often will be able to answer this question, and will appreciate being able to set their own deadline to fit their needs. I, however, will never be able to answer that question. Ever. I have no idea how long it will take me to do X, or finish Y. I don't know how long it takes for me to do some things that I've done hundreds of times; how am I supposed to guess how long it will take me to finish a project for the first time ever?<br /><br />Also, with regard to the comment above from katilady- <br />Things that work for me/might work for your partner's daughter are: <br />- If at all possible, find way for her to get herself independently to events/activities so that other people aren't reliant on her being ready on time (obviously, this can be not possible for a ton of different reasons, least of which being her age, needing to drive to get places, etc. but it's worth a shot sometimes)<br />- Plan to get to anything important very early, if possible. Like, don't even just start her "getting ready" earlier: literally plan to leave earlier than necessary, in case it takes longer than expected to get out of the house.<br />- Create lists of the things (tasks, items) necessary for her leaving the house, and put them everywhere. This helps prevent someone getting lost in one task and forgetting about the time.<br />- Have a "travel bag" of sorts, with snacks, some toiletries, hair accessories, and so on, so that if it's time to leave and she's not quite ready, she can take that and finish getting ready in the car or at the destination.<br />- Put together a "getting ready to leave" playlist of songs, where each song (or pair of songs) corresponds to a specific step in her routine, or point in her process. Then have her turn it on (either on a stereo in her room or on some portable thing with headphones) when you tell her to start getting ready. This is one of the only ways I can even vaguely keep track of time passing. But make sure there's a list of what song corresponds to what time/task, and that it's readily visible, b/c otherwise you forget to keep track of the songs and just bounce around to music forever.<br />- Set aside time earlier in the day (or the night before) to put together the clothes, or items, or snacks that will be needed for her to get out the door. If she is the kind of person who likes symmetrical, precise things (like me sometimes) it can actually be calming and nice to have all your things ready and arranged in rows/stacks way before you need to leave.<br />Hope that stuff can help!EWhetsellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01163709665753220878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-60775952204030193532013-12-25T11:41:36.398-08:002013-12-25T11:41:36.398-08:00this is not a spam comment like the one above, lol...this is not a spam comment like the one above, lol, nor is it meant to be disrespectful or rude. <br /><br />my partnerr's daughter has great difficulty being on time for anything, and while i understand how rushing her might cause more distress, we are wits end over here. she has made her father late for work several times, which means less $ for him as he doesn't have sick or vacation time. she has caused me to be late for very important occasions (like my art show opening). her lateness, while a part of her being on the spectrum, causes some real life issues for our family. it's very difficult not to get upset with her in some of these situations, even though i logically know that it's not intentional. <br /><br />we have tried starting her getting ready earlier, but often at the last minute she will discover that she HAS to trim her nails, or some such thing. it can be infuriating. do you have any suggestions? katiladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06433332126782219900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2799087240760337340.post-6965473029222204142013-12-25T02:04:42.959-08:002013-12-25T02:04:42.959-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03480075494330228192noreply@blogger.com