Since We Are Like Your Children is about how many of us autistics have dealt with the problems that leads many NT or NT passing parents to think that Autistic activists are nothing like their children, here I will share an anecdote from my childhood.
During the time that my parents were getting divorced in third grade, I was having melt downs on a nearly daily basis.
I would scream. I would punch things. I would stomp my feet.
Oh my gosh, if they saw me, they would have given me the old "low functioning" label and called it a day.
My parents reacted to all of this with great maturity, probably better maturity than the "professionals" at my school.
They had me let it all out. As part of that, they had the wisdom to recognize that my meltdowns were not directed at them or at anyone in particular but were just an expression of some really overwhelming emotions.
As part of letting it all out, my parents gave me a safe environment to let it out. My parents told me to punch pillows or mattresses instead of things that would break.
When I needed to scream, I would also occasionally scream into pillows, also to spare my parents ears.
This gets at an important but perhaps already stated point: meltdowns are at their base expressions of emotion. These expressions of emotion aren't necessarily about blaming anyone in particular. Parents should look for better ways for meltdowns to be expressed, not look to cancel them entirely.